Ballykissangel

7/50 Peveril Street, Tinonee, New South Wales

In anticipation of potentially monstrous congestion at Bangkok Airport, and because we needed to check everything was ok with our amended flight itinerary and couldn't reach Emirates by phone (something to do with a volcano), we took a taxi there a full eight hours before take-off and spent an afternoon queueing at the ticket office and then mincing around a crowded but not unbearable departure lounge before finally saying goodbye to Asia.

Arrived in Sydney the following morning (some might call it the western world of the self), and spent three days exploring this admirably spacious city, gawping at the harbour and the Opera House and eating amazing steak (after eleven weeks in Asia the price of everything is a bit of a shock - my first beer cost over $10, more than 6 GBP - but steak and chips seems to be a permanent loss leader). A couple of highlights stand out: 1) On our second evening we saw a very funny Australian comedian called Steve Hughes as part of the Sydney Comedy Festival with which our stay fortuitously coincided; and 2) a tour of the Sydney Cricket Ground, a great experience in itself, but improved immeasurably by Tweedie's reaction to discovering that we were not able to take the tour at our preferred time, as a sign outside the stadium informed us that a celebrity guest was entertaining businessmen. "Who the fuck is Richie Ben-ord?" (rendered phonetically here) is probably my favourite quote of the holiday.

After three days in Sydney we drove our rental car five hours north to Tinonee, near Wingham, near Taree, where my friend from school - Tom - is living and working as a vet. This gave rise to my second-favourite Tweedie quote of the trip: "an English vet moves to Australia - it's like Ballykissangel". The drive north was pleasant, although Australian roads could do with some improvement, , but arriving and seeing Tom again for the first time in too many years was tremendous. His excellent band played a gig of Beatles/Eagles/Bowie etc covers at a local cafe that evening to a crowd of raucous support - after eleven weeks away spent almost exclusively in tourist spots it was great to be somewhere real. Since then we've been exploring local beaches, attending friendly barbeques, and messing about in the Pacific with Tom and his engagingly enthusiastic, unfailingly welcoming group of mates.

In terms of firsts, I've seen my first ever kangaroo, and eaten my first real cheese in three months. I know which I enjoyed more.

Over.